Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse Counselling

We offer emotional abuse counselling and have trained online counsellors specialising in emotional abuse ready to take your call who have been victims of abuse themselves.

Emotional abuse counselling has proven to help people rebuild their lives by and allowing others to love them. That is something we all deserve, isn’t it!
If you are unsure of the first steps to take then pick up the phone and call our online counsellors and together you can work out the best plan to move forward to a happier life.    

Emotional abuse allows one person to gain power and control over another through words and gestures which gradually undermine the other’s self respect. Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify, as there is no scars or marks, and the torment can continue indefinitely. Conflict, arguments and criticism are all healthy ways of interacting with others – so what makes communication abusive?

Patterns of emotional abuse
Emotional abuse falls into three patterns:

Aggressive: which includes name-calling, belittling, blaming, accusing, yelling, screaming, making threats, degrading insults or destructive criticism.
Denying: this includes sulking, manipulation, neglecting, not listening, withholding affection and distorting the other’s experience.
Minimising: this can include belittling the effect of something, isolating, accusations of exaggerating or inventing and offering solutions or 'advice'.
Signs of emotional abuse
  •          Depression or anxiety
  •          Increased isolation from friends and family
  •          Fearful or agitated behaviour
  •          Lower self-esteem and self-confidence
  •          Addiction to alcohol or drugs
  •          Escapist behaviour
Emotional abuse can damage a person's confidence so that they feel worthless and find it hard to make or keep other relationships. Secrecy and shame usually maintain the abuse.

Causes of emotional abuse
Powerlessness, hurt, fear and anger are often unresolved issues for both the abuser and the abused. Childhood patterns can be re-enacted in emotional abuse with one participant taking the 'parent' role and the other adopting that of the ‘child’. A person may also be an abuser in one relationship and abused in another as they reverse unresolved emotions. Abusers find it difficult to handle their feelings and blame their problems on others instead.

When is the right time to seek help?
If your behaviour starts to change and you are no longer able to find satisfaction in your work or social life it is time to consider seeking help. If people you trust express concern about you or your relationship, it may be helpful to assess whether it is abusive or just conflicted. There is plenty of current information on abusive relationships to allow you to do a reality check; through books, on the internet, with a health professional or experienced counsellor. You may need help to assess your self-esteem and what can be done about the problem.

Medical help and treatment
Emotional abuse can be damaging, and often taps into earlier patterns. It is important to seek help and support to prevent it from becoming entrenched. It can be helpful to seek help from a counsellor or therapist in order to know yourself better and escape from a cycle of powerlessness. Learning to care for your own needs and to feel entitled to be confident and respected is a good start to being able to claim your own self-esteem.

Acknowledging that a relationship is abusive can be a useful call to action. There are a variety of help sources available for sufferers.

If the abuse is in an intimate relationship it may be worth considering couples counselling as an individual. It is not usually appropriate to attend with the partner to break free of the pattern. Counselling is not recommended for abusers, who may use the opportunity to re-enforce their own inability to take responsibility and ‘poor me’ position.

Counselling, psychotherapy and CBT all have their place and for many people it is the beginning of a long, but rewarding journey to a better and more fulfilling way of living by breaking old, unhealthy patterns.

What should I be looking for in a counsellor or psychotherapist?
Whilst there are currently no official rules and regulations in position to stipulate what level of training and experience a counsellor dealing with emotional abuse needs, we do recommend that you check your therapist is experienced in the area for which you are seeking help.

Specialises in Abuse
Since joining You Call We Listen, online counselling Hayley has been helping clients with various abuse issues and has a great way of connecting to the source of the problems.
 Hayley has introduced Intuitive Counselling to our services and we have been overwhelmed with the results we are seeing with the clients.
As part of Hayley's theraphy with clients whether its traditional Counselling or Intuitive Counselling she believes it is important to be available for her clients in between scheduled sessions, as this keeps the determination of the client fresh and helps on those days where you need a little extra support but can not wait until your appointment, so as a result of your weekly counselling session you can have an add on of daily support by email or text.
How Constant Counselling works: 
Constant counselling is such a important part of clients recovery and is seriously under estimated especially for clients starting counselling.
The time inbetween counselling sessions takes all our strength to focus and stay on track with our recovery so an email, text or 5 minute phone call is vital for those times we need support to stay on track.

I found the whole experience with ‘you talk, we listen, we care’ to be very beneficial. The counselling and help that I received resulted in noticeable changes in my state of mind, and I found the service to be a highly effective one.
I was able book hours that suited my own life and that of my family, which is always a great bonus too.
Before my sessions here, I really felt that my issues were in-built and just ‘one of those things’. But, with the help of friendly and supportive people, penetrating insight, and personal warmth, I just don’t those problems anymore.
For everything, thank you.
Syra, London
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